Shelia Zelinger

Could you talk about how you got involved in the Tikvah Project?

I suspect that my thought was that this sounded like a meaty project and one that could have a positive outcome. It was important. I think for me, particularly if it was something I’ve done for business and people want results, that it gives me a ‘north star’. We didn’t know the total at the time, but it was substantial enough and meaty enough to put time towards. We spent the first 2-3 months with one other person, with an intern rabbi, working through the vision, the mission, the objectives – very much like a business. Approached it with the methods and tools we knew generally worked.

In developing the program, what has the biggest challenge been?

Whenever you do something that is challenging and not obvious, you always run into little bumps along the road. We continue to find those bumps. This is the opportunity to ask them to come and listen with curiosity – just to ask the questions. Maybe the most rewarding thing is to see some people really thoughtfully questioning their long-held views. Not that they need to question them, but will they open their eyes and listen with curiosity? That’s really the essence of what we’re trying to do. We know that we have achieved something when we see people doing that.

One of our goals was to also leverage some of the ‘Jewish teachings’ that point out you have to listen different views respectfully. There can be disagreements and different viewpoints. Israelis argue an incredible amount. Even when you study the Torah, this person says one thing and this one says this other thing, and you walk away still discussing the different views. That was the vision. What can we do if we talk about the Torah or study like that, then apply it to very persons or situations? Politics, history, whatever. The genesis of doing this goes back a long time.

This year’s gala theme is “I am CBJ”, and one of the ideas is that every person is a part of our community. We wanted to ask your thoughts on that phrase. What that means to you?

Interesting. Well, I guess I would say in part ‘we all are CBJ’, and it really takes a village to do things. We’re all part of a community. We al have a responsibility to the community. There are certainly times in my life where I’ve come to the synagogue only a few times a year then gone off and done my own thing. It’s classic. You come for the High Holidays and that’s kind of it. I think through this work and also having experience with the aftermath of Oct. 7th, more and more I hope we all realize that this is a very important community for us. We have diverse views, yes, but we are people with views and need to respect each other and be curious about each other. Even if your views different, you still have to listen with respect. It forms the fabric of the broader Jewish community. Oct. 7th makes this notion of community a lot more meaningful.

I think you’ve talked about this a little bit. What has being part of CBJ meant to you?

That’s a pretty big question! I would say that getting involved like this has brought a lot more meaning and personal connection to CBJ and the community for me, personally. You’re not only spending a lot of time, but you’re also feeling a personal connection. It goes beyond the normal stuff. “This is a culture, a religion, etc.” It’s a… a place where I can both seek and give some solace. A place where I’ve been able to share some of the things that I do well. And when I say that in context of this community – having worked at a job for many, many years, we all develop certain skills. I can leverage those to benefit CBJ for the greater good. Beyond ourselves, we really need to feel fulfilled. To a large extent, CBJ has been that avenue to get beyond my own ‘personal me’, my own work, and give back in a way that is useful to the greater community.

Our wrap-up question: if someone were new to CBJ, what would you recommend? You answered some of that already in the preview, but what would you recommend to get the most out of this community?

Participate. You can’t be a bystander. If you’re a bystander, you just simply don’t get as much out of the community. We’re all getting something by being part of the same religious group, but when you engage and do things socially, or educationally, that’s all about getting to know people. We’re all human beings, but I think that connection through engagement is really important. And it’s important both in good times and in bad times. Get engaged. Participate. Put yourselves out there. It doesn’t take much, finding people and things that engage you, to make it a more purposeful place.

What do you see next for the Tikvah committee?

That is a very interesting question.

We had broad themes of what we wanted to do. People needed to learn some skills. People got tired of that. Not that they’ve mastered that by any means, but you can’t keep going only at the skills. Then we had some people who brought their skills in a very unique and dynamic way. How did we get these people? We asked people we knew for recommendations. One or more of our committee members had connections. What are some of the trends, particularly with the kids, because pre-Oct. 7th that was ‘happening’. But then Oct. 7th happened. It feels like the world kind of changed on everyone. What people were interested in was a function of the world at a moment in time. For the last 4-5 months. It’s a little hard to say ‘right now’. When do we get out of this period? When do we think of other steps for the program? I’m sure November elections will being some divisiveness as well.

There’s a cadence of life, and to politics I guess, that will bring opportunities to do things. I can think of a number of topics that would be interesting. What are the geopolitical implications of this war? Not only for Israel, but for the West in general? Things will emanate from Oct. 7th, or from politics, but the calendar is quite full already. That’s one piece of the answer.

How do we spread some of the things we’ve done to other groups? Give them the tools to be successful? If anyone decides in the synagogue to bring a speaker, what container do they apply to that? It sets a stage, sets a context. But what are the standards people think about when they bring people? If they bring someone hugely controversial, what do they have to say? Someone looks at their tweet from three years ago and blows up, how do you let that person know that as long as we stay in conversation in a respectful way, please come to this event? You need to hear this person. Sharing the tools, setting the container, bringing in diverse voices, bringing people together at all is not easy. If you don’t bring them

together, they’ll talk anyway. ‘Fill the vacuum’. Give them the basic rules of communication. ‘How do you diffuse strong disagreements?’. That’s the near- term goal.